Hello, I’m 25 years old. I decided to write this after having different opinions with my friends in a conversation.
I believe that "If I can't afford to let my child live like other kids their age, I shouldn't have kids." During my school years, my family’s financial situation wasn’t good, and it still isn’t. Because of that, I often felt deprived and developed a sense of inferiority.
When I was in the 8th grade, I looked at my elementary school graduation photos. Even though I knew it was just clothes, mine looked cheap and showed signs of poverty, unlike most of my friends' clothes. When I was in elementary school, I worked so hard to hide the fact that I came from a poor family from my friends and teachers, but looking back, I realize it was probably all visible through my appearance (clothes). I realized that it was all in vain.
When I went to college, I only received tuition fees twice and I never got any allowance. Some might think that being able to receive tuition support at all is lucky enough, and I know many people are paying off student loans. But there are also many of my friends who live comfortably in college thanks to solid support from their parents. Some of them still receive allowances from their parents.
But isn’t it wrong to have a child when you can't even pay for their tuition or give them allowances, forcing them to live a harder life compared to others just because of money? At this point, isn't it a criminal?
If you choose to have a child, whether it was an impulsive decision or a planned pregnancy, shouldn’t you at least support them until they’re 25? And if you can’t do that, then you shouldn’t have children at all. Looking around, I notice that some people are still receiving financial support from their parents even when they’re over 30 years old.
I know some elders who think, "You’ve raised your child until 20, that’s enough; what more could they want after that?" But who asked to be born? If you wanted to have a child, shouldn't you take responsibility for them in this harsh world so that they don’t struggle financially?
You may have heard the saying, "It’s a relief if your children don’t ask you for money once they become adults; if they can support themselves, that’s happiness." I completely don’t understand this; why should children be grateful for that? Isn’t it the parents’ duty to support their children? If they can’t even support themselves, shouldn’t they avoid having children?
I’ve seen many families with three or more children who don't support their children and just let the kids fend for themselves. Shouldn’t they have come to their senses after having two kids? It’s really frustrating to see families like that.
This is just my perspective. I’m not talking about having the financial means to send a child abroad for studies or having billions in wealth.
I’m simply talking about being able to provide for a child’s basic needs: letting them buy what they want, wear what they want, and do what they want during their school years. To quantify it, I believe parents should at least cover college tuition and provide a minimum of 500,000 KRW (~$375 USD) per month until the child finds a job. In today’s world, 500,000 KRW per month is not much, but if a child in their early to mid-20s works part-time, they can at least live a normal life without struggling like their peers.
This was my opinion. Am I wrong? While talking with my friend, it seemed like our perspectives were completely different, and I’m still thinking about it, so I wanted to hear the opinions of others. I tend to hold onto my beliefs strongly, but if most people tell me that my opinion is wrong and selfish, I’ll try to reflect on it and change my thinking. Thank you for reading this long post.
https://zul.im/0OUeaw
theqoo
-If you that's what you believe is right, then you should just live your life according to your own beliefs. As long as you don't tell others what to do, no one will care. I really don’t want to talk to someone who calls their parents criminals.
-I agree with the title but not with the content of the post.
-If that’s how you think, then just live that way. There's no need to tell others how to live.
-Just live according to your own beliefs. There's no need to hold on to people with different opinions and argue about who’s right. Is there even a correct answer to this kind of issue?
-I agree that parents should support their kids until they are independent, whether it's paying for college tuition or helping them getting a job. But saying that people shouldn't have kids if they don't have money is too much. I do think that parents should at least pay for college tuition, though.
-Just keep your thoughts to yourself, okay?
-Just live your life... If you want to have kids, have them; if you don't, then don't. There’s no right answer.
-Just think that way on your own and don’t force it on others. The same goes for the opposite view. This is a matter of belief, and once you start fighting about who’s right or wrong, there’s no end.
-The content of the post is so ridiculous that I can’t agree with it. I agree with the title, though.
-By the time you’re in your 20s, you should start preparing to become independent. It’s not right to expect parents to support you in everything.
-I also grew up in a poor family, but the OP's mindset seems unhealthy. Such negative thoughts should be kept inside; they shouldn’t be spoken out loud or even written down.
-But what if rich parents had a kid, but then lost everything? Does that mean they’re no longer qualified to be parents? Or what if a poor family suddenly wins the lottery and becomes rich enough to give 500,000 won a month? Does that mean they suddenly gain the right to have kids?
