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Sunday, March 10, 2024

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'Transit Love 3' A Relationship Without 'I Love You'



Gwangtae: I am the type of person who expresses my feelings a lot. And it seemed like she found it a difficult thing to do. It felt like it takes a long time for her to open up completely. 

Jongeun: From the day of confession, he started saying "I love you" and continued saying it almost every day until the day we broke up. Unlike him, it takes some time for me to express love in any type of relationships I have. As our relationship became deeper, at some point, he started saying, "I want to hear those words too."

Gwangtae: She told me that she takes expressing affection seriously, so I understood her at first. I thought to myself, "Maybe that's just the way she is." But 6 months passed and she still hadn't said it, I thought, "Not yet?"

Jongeun: The idea of taking responsibility for saying "I love you" is very overwhelming to me. As our relationship became deeper, he started talking about marriage and the future a lot. When he said, "I love you," it felt like he was hinting about marriage. So I only said, "Me too," but deep down, I wondered "Can I take responsibility for saying this? Is it okay for me to say this?"

Gwangtae: The day we broke up, we actually had a quite pleasant day. We met at a pub, had a drink, and somehow that conversation came up again. 

Jongeun: My ex demanded for me to say "I love you." It had happened several times before, and I just couldn't bring myself to say it. I really hated and stressed over myself for not being able to say it. So, out of frustration, I just said, "I don't love you anymore."

Gwangtae: Actually, I didn't suggest breaking up. My heart just grew cold at the mention of it. 


-Six months is indeed a relatively short time for a relationship, but it's long enough to say "I love you." As someone who is expressive, I think Gwangtae is very amazing to wait patiently for six months. 

-It must be hurtful to hear "I don't love you" out of frustration when he never even got to hear "I love you" in the first place. I can totally understand Jongeun's perspective, but if her partner wants to hear those word that badly, shouldn't she just say it? I felt really bad for Gwangtae, especially after the fighting scene. 

-The fact that she never said "I love you" to him proves that she never liked him. 

-I can somewhat understand her, since I personally find saying "I love you" is too difficult and challenging. But still, saying "I don't love you" is probably the worst thing you can ever say to your partner. It must've been incredibly painful for Gwangtae.

-Not saying "I love you" at all and then suddenly saying "I don't love you" at the end... That's legendary. It must've been really painful for him. 

-Could it be that she dated him just for fun, not because she loved him? To me, it seems like she loved him for the sake of dating, instead of dating him because she loved him. 

-I used to be the type of person who doesn't mention marriage and avoids serious relationships because it feels too burdensome. But after meeting the one, those words came out of me naturally. Maybe he shouldn't meet someone who says that she doesn't love him out of frustration. 

-So she thinks saying "I love you" is too heavy, yet she spat out "I don't love you" out of anger? I don't understand her.

-I don't think you should be in a relationship if you don't think you can say "I love you" even after six months of dating. I know it's a relatively short time for a relationship, but it's long enough to say those words. If you can't say the words that your loved one wanted so badly, I think it's better to just give up on the relationship.

-That's really mean of her. 

-I just can't understand why someone who refuses to say the word "love" because of the responsibility it comes with, would say "I don't love you" out of anger. I think Gwangtae's behavior was caused by his low self-esteem due to his past relationships, so I can understand him better. 

-I understand her, actually. I know it's different for everyone, but for me, six months is a really short period of time. Especially when her partner already talked about marriage and things. It adds the pressure and makes it even harder for her to say it. I mean, everyone's different, right? For those who can fall in love within a day, six months is a very long time. On the other hand, for those who can only fall in love after knowing the other person for a year, six months is a short time. However, I agree that "I don't love you" is something you shouldn't say no matter how angry or annoyed you are. 

-Why didn't she say "I love you"? I also don't hear it often to my current partner... We've been together for about three months now... I find myself not saying it either. Is love something that must be expressed in words?
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